TWO YEARS IN

Two years ago today I signed the papers on my house in Montréal (Aude), France. The whole process of discovery, purchasing and planning the move was admittedly a real high. I was finally going to live the dream, the #1 item on my bucket list!

I can’t remember when this dream was formulated. I’ve asked some of my friends if they can recall when I first began to talk about living in France and the most common response has been “Forever.” It was at least 20 years ago.

I can remember in my MBA program at the University of Michigan focusing my curriculum on international business because that was the world I wanted to work in. I was hoping to be recruited to a global company and eventually secure an ex-pat position living overseas. While I was recruited by several global companies, entry level positions usually aren’t on the international side. I eventually worked my way into the international division of The Upjohn Company, but things were changing and ex-pats were considered too expensive. It was better to hire locally. Oh, well…

The upside was that I was able to work with some great colleagues from all over the world. Many of them francophones, I was able to improve my language skills though it was child’s play compared to the experience of living immersed in a country.

I was also able to travel and had some marvelous experiences that took me many places. Among the most memorable were a round-the-world trip that began at our European headquarters in Puurs, Belgium, then on to Pakistan (Islamabad, Rawalpindi & Karachi), Sri Lanka (Colombo), Singapore, Indonesia (Jakarta) and Hong Kong with a brief stopover for R&R in Honolulu on the way home. That last stop was also a nice way to manage the jet lag. I love Hawaii.

Another trip had me traveling to Australia (Perth then Sydney), China (Shanghai) and Japan (Tokyo). It was another long trip that included at the end, Easter weekend. I took leave of my colleagues who helped me find a ryokan outside of Nikko two hours away by bullet train on Lake Chuzenji. After five weeks on the road with work and entertainment, I was ready for a rest. It was one of the best weekends of my life sleeping on a futon, experiencing the ofuro (Japanese hot bath) and marvelous views of the cherry blossom trees outside my window and snow-capped mountains across the lake. I had a few books with me as I can’t travel without a good book. I ate, slept and read the entire weekend. It was healing.

While my global pharmaceutical career had me traveling all over the world, one position had me in France seven times in one year for various meetings. The physicians with whom I was meeting knew of my love for their country and the language. So some of them insisted we speak in French during our meetings. It was challenging but helped me to expand my capability. And the more I came to France, the more I wanted to be here.

When my entire family came in 2000 to celebrate my mother’s 75th birthday and my 50th, I remember telling my mother “Maybe for your 80th birthday I’ll have a house of my own in France where we can celebrate.”

I began to look for houses as early as 2004. I had long been picking up the real estate magazine periodically published by Le Monde. Most of those houses were over the top, but they were inspiring and taught me the language of housing as well as the architectural styles unique to each region. It was fun to dream about what my eventual house would look like.

In 2008, I planned a two-week trip and lined up 15 different houses to see in various parts of western and central France. I found this simple maison de maitre in the Gers region but didn’t move fast enough as someone bid on it before I could.

It would have required complete renovation but it would have been spectacular. It had a huge dining room at the front of the house with big windows opening to an expansive lawn with a medieval tower at its end and a 15th century church across the road.

In 2009 I actually found a bigger and even more beautiful home, not far from Aubusson, but couldn’t sell my house in New Jersey, so I had to back off. The financial crash of 2008 didn’t help anyone trying to sell. I didn’t want two houses to manage. The move was going to be severing my US ties.

The house was built entirely in stone, I was told, by the same stonemasons who had constructed Notre Dame Cathedral in Paris. This part of France was famous for these stonemasons so virtually all the older houses here were similar.

With five bedrooms, outbuildings, a pool, a greenhouse, and even an orchard, it would have been wonderful. But it wasn’t meant to be.

My mother came to visit me from Florida that year. We were in New York City for a concert and I told her “I’m going to miss all this” assuming I would be in France before long. She told me that maybe I should move closer to NYC and “get it out” of my system. And too, maybe I would meet someone and wouldn’t have to go alone. That’s how I ended up in Jersey City for five years. Mothers know best.

I got involved with a business and after a few years, my youngest sister had some medical issues and needed help. So I moved to Atlanta for five more years. A move to France didn’t happen as soon as I thought it would.

Finally, with my sister’s health stabilized and my business for sale, it was time. Long story short, I serendipitously found my house on Facebook’s Properties for Sale in France. After the various house hunting trips, my specifications list had been refined. When I saw the ad for this house and its attributes, I knew it would be perfect. Region was somewhat important, but a good kitchen having a gas stove, light in the kitchen and three bedrooms each with its own bath sold me. The pictures were awesome. What I didn’t expect was the magnificent view of the Pyrenées and the foothills closer by. What I sacrificed were a garden and privacy as it is a village house. But I reconciled myself with that understanding that as I get older, having neighbors will be a good thing. The timing was right so I made a trip over, saw the house and bought it.

So what is it like two years later?

When I came for the closing, it was dreamlike. Moving in and staying overnight in my “new” home with roots back to the 15th century was surreal. Of course, it didn’t feel like my home yet. It came furnished and so it felt more like someone else’s home. I had to create routines, decide where to put things, and think about what I wanted to do to make this house my own before I began to feel comfortable.

It is far more modest than I initially planned, but I am actually happy with its compactness. It’s less to clean and perfect for me in retirement. Yet it has all the room I need to entertain guests affording them privacy as well (particularly with the studio). I had the trophy house in New Jersey. I don’t need nor want that any longer.

As I drive to and from Carcassonne for shopping, I am still overwhelmed with the beauty of the roads passing by vineyards and under the plane trees planted over 200 years ago to shade the solders of Napoleon’s army all over France.

As I drive on the back roads, the beauty of the rolling hills with distant views of the Pyrenées is always a wonderful surprise. This is where I now live!

Seeing La Cité, the medieval city of Carcassonne with its turrets is to behold. It is the largest remaining medieval castle in Europe, a UNESCO World Heritage Site for good reason.

Less than three months after arriving, my story (or a facsimile thereof) was told on House Hunters International. It was exciting.

Until the pandemic came along, I was having great fun touring in the region and attending concerts in Carcassonne, Toulouse and even Paris. Trains make travel easy. And with senior discounts, travel is relatively cheap.

As I’ve reported earlier, I have undertaken a few projects building bookshelves and storage, redoing the roof and purchasing some new furniture. I’m in the process of replacing the floor on the main floor and waiting for my terrace to be repaired as it leaks to the studio below. I’ll also need to replace the heating system as a fire risk has been identified. Once all these things are done, I want the house painted inside and out. I’ll change the colors on the outside, probably to French Marine Blue.

From a social perspective, I’ve met a few neighbors and got involved with Acceuil Ville France to take French classes. In January, recognizing a need, I began teaching my own class to focus on grammar and everyday expressions for some of my classmates who didn’t have the formal background in the French language. It has been fun and rewarding as we continue to meet despite the COVID pandemic via videoconference every week. We’re growing and getting more comfortable as our knowledge grows. I see their progress and feel that I too have been rewarded by teaching. In May after the first lockdown came to an end, Jim hosted us at his beautiful home just outside of my village for a socially-distanced class outdoors. We were so happy to see one another!

I do videoconferences with my sister and her children in Atlanta every Sunday. I am grateful for the technology that makes this possible. Otherwise I think it would be much more difficult to be here.

It was a good decision to make this move. France has been welcoming. The history I sought surrounds me. Even though the pandemic has limited social options and excursions since February, I am comfortable in my home keeping myself busy with projects, writing, preparing for classes, gardening, reading, and occasionally hosting dinner parties which I love for the socialization and conversation.

I’ve met some great people along the way and making new friends. I even stood up in a wedding! It all feels good. I hope that as time moves along, my social network will continue to grow so that the support I am going to need will be there.

In terms of health care for the elderly, France is well-structured. Four visiting nurses are assigned to my village alone. They work hard to keep people in their homes. We have a new and very modern maison de retraite (retirement home) which is covered by the French health care system though one must pay an affordable premium for room and board. It too looks towards the Pyrenées. That may be my future. I don’t know.

Life in this quiet village is friendly and simple. I have made a choice to be here on my own and sometimes I admit, it’s anxiety-provoking. But I had to do this and I have no regrets. Sometimes I ask myself why this was so important. To be honest, I don’t know. I just know that it was. My desire to be fluent in French has been with me for most of my life, ever since I heard my mother and grandmother conversing when I was a young boy. I’ve always had the travel bug and couldn’t wait to explore new places. But I have always come back to France and it is France where my heart is at peace.