At the age of 61, one year ago Ronald Walker died suddenly. He had been in good health and was out riding his bike in Northern Ireland and is believed to have been hit by a car. When he didn’t return, the police were phoned and he was found on the road next to his bike. His sister Bertha, living in Carcassonne, has participated in my weekly class Practical French for over a year and has become one of my friends. Ronald had just been here two months prior and his passing was obviously a shock.
Given the pandemic it has been impossible to travel and Ronald’s family in Northern Ireland postponed any memorial service. With his anniversary approaching, we encouraged Bertha to have a memorial service here. I cancelled class for two weeks (announcing our Spring vacances scolaires) and that enabled a group of her friends to meet Friday afternoon at a recreational lake just outside of Carcassonne.
I’ve been wanting to see Lac de la Cavayère with its water slides, teleski, beach, a café and bar. It sounded like fun. Of course, everything was closed, but it didn’t stop people from coming. For me the Lac was reminiscent of Kensington Park outside of Detroit that I would go to as a youngster.
We assembled at 1 PM with a potluck. My contribution was a chocolate mousse cake with cherries soaked in kirsch. Knowing I like to bake, Bertha asked me for one of my chocolate concoctions as Ronald was a fan of chocolate. I therefore decided to add a layer of ganache. But to be honest, it was overkill and far too rich. I think the recipe as it stands is perfect. Lesson learned.
Bertha’s cousin Merlyn, though she couldn’t be with us in person, participated via video. We toasted Ronald’s memory and recited a couple of poems: Epitaph by Merritt Malloy and, fittingly, An Irish Blessing (anonymous). Bertha shared photos and reminisced about her brother. It was healing.
It was good to be out – a rare treat in this pandemic – and good to be with friends. It was also good to celebrate the life of Bertha’s brother with her as his sudden passing without the ability to share her grief with her family in Northern Ireland has made the mourning difficult and prolonged.
So while this really wasn’t a wake in the true sense of the word, it was a fitting memorial to someone well-loved. When you live in a country not your own, you find your friends and support where you can. All of us present Friday – a mix of Americans, English, Irish and Japanese – remarked that we are glad to have found one another. And this is what friends do.
What a lovely memorial celebration!
I did not realize chocolate could be “de trop.” More has always seemed better. You are fortunate to have found a warm community of friends, Tom. Being outdoors in nature during the pandemic is always restorative. Hugs! Kristin
Very touching. Perfect.
WOW ! Tom………What a wonderful tribute to Ronald’s 61 years of Life with all of you Friends together with his Sister Bertha.
Please tell Bertha that I, Mark and my wife Donna are Praying for her during her still time of mourning for her Brother Ronald………..
Tom, I too can see my times at Kensington Park especially in the Summer and ” Ice Fishing in my shack ” in Winter with looking at your picture of the Lac……..
Hoping & Praying our 55th Reunion may come to be and you can make us 1969 Alums a chocolate mousse cake!!!!
I am saving ” The Irish Blessing “……………….
As always Tom – Regards – Mark in South Carolina
********Glorious colorful blooming Spring now in SC*********
Thank you, Mark! Bertha will be most appreciative of your kind sentiments.
I am excited at the prospect of a class reunion here in France. It will be an awesome experience for us all. One of the things I would like to include is hosting a reception at my home. So I promise to add the chocolate mousse cake to the menu – without the ganache!
What a beautiful belated send off to a fine man. How wonderful you all could gather to lift up his memories.
I think that is the best sort of celebration for the passing of a loved one. I’m sorry for the loss of your friend. And I would like to add that there is no such thing as too much chocolate. Your cake looks delicious.
Tom,
Sorry to hear about your friend Ronald. That was a wonderful tribute given the difficulties of our Covid-19 restrictions. Thank you for sharing and making us aware that we can still respectfully honor our loved ones no matter what other challenges prevail.
Richard
Thanks to everyone for their much appreciated comments regarding the Irish wake (in France!) in memory of my brother Ronald. The day helped me and my cousin Merlyn (who joined us via What’s App video) a great deal. To be with friends and have a celebration of his life – it was a special day in a lovvely setting. He was a great brother and I miss him dearly. Thanks to Tom for encouraging me to have this memorial day and to my dear friends who came along and shared. And just like an typical Irish wake, there was plenty of food and drink!
Thanks to all.